My relationship with God has been a complicated one. I was raised for the first part of my life Catholic. We went to mass and I attended private Catholic schools all the way through high school. Prayer and religion to me was a duty. A class. Something you got graded on. When I was in high school it came out that a prominent cardinal in my city molested a bunch of young boys. At that time my mother was a 1st grade teacher. Those boys were the same age as her students. She swore she would never have another thing to do with the church … and we never did.
I didn’t have any spiritual guidance. I waded through my 20s and a lot of my 30s not really having a relationship with God. Through what I like to think of as a case of “everything happening for a reason” I was pushed to attend a women’s group being led by a woman who is now the guiding spiritual force in my life. How I got there is whole other story – which I plan on telling – but I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for her. This was 10 years ago.
This spiritual journey has changed me in ways I never dreamed. I was shown that Faith and my relationship with God didn’t have to look like the Catholic Church. It didn’t have to be religious.
It is anyway I want it to be.
It is my personal relationship. It is special and fcking incredible. I know he is right there with me in everything I do and loves me unconditionally. There are times when I have been so tested that my faith was all that kept me going. I’ve reached out to friends and asked for prayers. But the best part is when I can be that friend that they reach out to for support. My faith challenges me to be vulnerable and let people in. To open my heart.