What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see someone who deserves all the happiness in the world? Who deserves to be loved?
This is something I struggle with on a daily basis. Sometimes all I can see is that my thighs are bigger than I want them to be. That maybe my waist isn’t as small as it used to be. I am so fucking critical of myself. I focus on the flaws (mostly in my head I am sure) not the things that are amazing about myself. Yes there are the purely physical attributes. My white blonde hair (it’s a commitment) my great skin (gift of my genetics and not eating any sugar growing up) or my strong body. But also the things that make me the beautiful woman that I am. Wow… I even have a hard time writing that. Things like my loyalty to my friends. My love for animals and especially my pup Bowie. My acceptance of everyone no matter who they love and how they identify themselves. My passion for travel and adventure.
Which makes me wonder… what do people see when they look at me. Do they see the flaws? How do I appear to them, both physically and personally? For all of us who are so critical of ourselves I wonder what it would be like to truly see ourselves as others do. Not just in a picture or a video… but with the attachments and emotions that go along with looking at us.
Maybe that’s why I love dressing up so much. Putting on a wig, playing with fun make-up and clothes. Having fun with my appearance brings me closer to appreciating the body I am in. And when I look at myself in the mirror and I see my joy and creativity – and maybe, just maybe, see myself as others do.